Love Pain
by AgeyoPanda
Summary: Otis Otis. A wise and powerful vampire. Showing emotion wasn't something he was good at; he'd rather hide it all or just wave it off. But it's been a year since losing Nelly, have things been okay for him? Or are they getting worse?


*DEPRESSION TRIGGER WARNING*

Okay so, this like my first CoVT fic, surprisingly for some whatever reason. This series means so much to me and it was like I went to school with Vlad, so I have no idea why I never wrote anything for the series.

Otis is my favorite so why not some angst? We never really got to see some angsty Otis in the series so why not take a crack at it? I'm really sure if I like the title thought.

Like always, please excuse any mistakes I made. Proof reading was never my strong point.

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><p>Sleep. Lately, it was such a tough feat. He didn't have to sleep, but after picking up the habit, he'd gotten so used to it. But sleep was the last thing he wanted to do. Once he'd close his eyes, the nightmares would come for him. Tomas, D'Ablo, and the love he thought he'd never lose so easily; Nelly. Tomas and D'Ablo were one thing, something that will easily go away over time. Nelly was something else altogether. It had only been a year since her passing and the pain didn't get any better, and no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't hiding the pain as much as he though he did. At school he was fine, anything that had to do with the council, he was fine. Whenever Vlad called or paid a visit he did his best to get by, when alone, he would crumble. It seemed that the first few months after her passing were pretty rough, but as time went on and when Vlad left for college, things just went downhill for the vampire.<p>

If it was any other opponent, Otis could take him with ease, but this pain was one opponent he just couldn't beat. And of course it wouldn't be easy. Otis experienced her greatness first hand before Vlad came into his life. While a college professor, he saw her walk into his class, take a seat with her friends, and flash a 'good morning' smile at the vampire. Of course relationships with professors were forbidden, but that never stopped her from the occasional flirting. Otis remembers the day she gave him that famous purple top hat very clearly. A beautiful, shy and somewhat short young women bundled up in a wool coat and plaid scarf, standing with her teacher under the shade of a grand oak tree just out the window of his classroom. Her cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink as she handed him a gold gift bag, purple tissue paper poking out from the top. A small smile danced upon his face as he took the bag in his hands. Before he could utter a 'thank you', she was out of sight.

Otis smiled at the memory. At least he could sleep with a happy memory on his mind. Before he could even close his eyes, his alarm clock yelled at him, forcing him to get out of bed. Otis groaned as he shut off the loud noise, fighting the urge to throw that blasted thing against the wall. Despite the happy memory, he was still rather grumpy. Not because of the lack of sleep, but the poor guy had nothing to eat in two days; he made it a point to 'grab' a bite before work.

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><p>With a heavy sigh, Otis pulled opened the front doors of Bathory High; his ears being greeted with the pleasant sound of very few students in the halls. He now made it to work much earlier than having to wait for Vlad to drag himself out of bed. For a vampire, the kid sure can sleep forever. Almost knowing that he was being thought about, Otis felt a small push in his mind as he was fumbling with his office keys. Finally unlocking the office door, Otis greeted his nephew the best he could without lumping his grumpiness on him.<p>

There was some concerning silence before Vlad gave his answer, "Morning, Uncle."

Otis set his old brief case at the side of his desk and took at seat to look over some papers that were left on his desk from various teachers, "You're up early, Vladimir."

"Yeah, couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd just skip sleep altogether."

"Hm, looks like I wasn't the only one without sleep…"

More silence.

"Vladimir?" Otis furrowed his brows in concern.

"Um, Uncle Otis. Are things… okay?"

Otis was quiet. It was like Vlad was asking him if he was being bullied or something. But Otis wasn't stupid; he knew what Vlad meant with that question. Otis bit his bottom lip for a while, thinking of a reply. Settling on one, he answered, "It's seems like you get sharper and sharper with each year, Vladimir."

"Well…?" Vlad's voice rung with impatience.

Otis sighed, "If you must know… no. Things are not okay. But I'm pretty sure you already knew that."

"It's about Nelly… isn't it?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Otis let out a small chuckle, "It's not like me to just admit things so easily like this."

"It was Aunt Nelly. She had the power to change people." Otis could hear Vlad smile a little.

"That she did, Vladimir." Otis couldn't help but smile himself, "Now I believe a certain nephew has classes to attend."

"Yeah, yeah. 'Go to class!' 'Get good grades!' I already know your big spiel before you even get to it."

"I just want you to succeed, Vladimir."

"Okay but, I kinda have all the time in the world to succeed, Uncle."

Otis rolled his eyes at the comment, "Even the so-called Pravus has college to attend, Young Vladimir."

"Fine. Gee, even when you're not my teacher anymore, it's still like you are."

Otis smiled again, "Goodbye, Vladimir." His smile turned into a chuckle as he felt Vlad leave his mind.

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><p>The day felt like it went on forever. Otis took a quick lunch break, hoping that same grumpy feeling would leave him; it never did. All the vampire wanted to do was just to get home; but he did have a couple of stops to make, of course. First, a small flower shop to pick up a small bouquet of white daisies, then, the cemetery. Otis made his way to Nelly's gravesite, fresh flowers were sitting in a purple vase; Vlad must have stopped by earlier today. Otis put the daisies with the other flowers in the vase. He stood for a while, just staring at the depressing words craved into the headstone. Otis let out a heavy sigh, swallowing back a few tears. Otis made it a point to visit Nelly at least twice a week, he thought visits would eventually get easier, but that obviously wasn't the case.<p>

Otis was never one to really show pain or sadness; even in front of Vlad. If his façade ever broke, it was only for a while. It's not like Otis was incapable of showing emotion, it was just in his personality to not break so easily. Honestly, Otis felt, well, weak to break down like this. A person looks at Otis and they might see a good guy who could do no harm; he could a load of harm. Sometimes a person will see a pretty good teacher who cared about his students or a principle who is quite strict, but can easily warm up to you. Sometimes they see a man in charge who's not afraid to punish those who break the rules. Heck, sometimes they might see a blood sucking priest. What they never see is a man who could easily break down when it came to one women; a very important women. Right now, it didn't matter how hard he tried to swallow back tears, it just wasn't working.

It was like a big lump had settled into his throat and it just wouldn't go away.

"It's been a while, love," Otis's voice was cracking; more tears threatening to fall, "I see Vladimir has been here. You know, he's becoming quite the young man," Otis couldn't help but smile, "I'm very proud of him, I'm sure you would be as well. His grades still aren't that great, but he's been studying a lot it seems," Otis chuckled at the memories of trying to get Vlad to actually sit and study during his high school years, "it's definitely an improvement from high school."

Otis sighed. He stood there for a while, just quietly standing; tears falling from his eyes. He sniffled a few times, kicked some rocks, and let out some more depressed sighs.

Otis Otis was falling apart.

He was falling apart and this was all too new for him. He knew what fear was; he knew what loneliness was; he knew what frustration, sadness, and loss was. But for some reason, this was just too much for him to bear. He was able to stand the loss and betrayal of Tomas and Vikas. The torture D'Ablo put him through soon became but a distant memory. Every hardship in his life seemed like nothing now. For this pain, the pain of losing his beloved was just too much for the wise and powerful vampire.

Otis let out a shaky breath, "Do you have any idea about how much I miss you," Otis wasn't sure, but it seemed like the tears were flowing faster now, "I thought things like this were supposed to get easier, damn it." Otis didn't care. He didn't care about being that strong vampire. He didn't care about keeping his cool or hiding his emotions. He didn't about any of that now. All he wanted to do was let it all out; even vampires like Otis just need to have a good cry sometimes.

And cry, he did.

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><p>Sleep. Again he couldn't sleep. All he did was just look up at the ceiling. Otis thought after his cry while visiting Nelly would make things better on him, turns out he was wrong. Frustrated, he got out of bed and down to the kitchen for a hot mug of bloodwine. Sitting at the table, Otis stared into the crimson liquid. He took a few sips; lost in his thoughts. After about the fifth sip he let out a frustrated groan and held his head in his hands.<p>

Soon after that, he felt a gentle push in his mind. Otis blinked for a while, wondering if he should answer Vlad or not. After about three pushes later, he realized that Vlad wasn't going to leave so easily.

Otis sighed, "You should be asleep, Vladimir."

"So should you."

Otis chuckled, "Can't sleep again?"

"No, it's not that I couldn't sleep, I just had a bad feeling," Otis could hear Vlad sighing, "that visit to Nelly, Uncle…" Vlad's voice trailed off.

Otis froze for a bit, "You were poking around in my thoughts, weren't you Vladimir?" Otis wasn't mad with Vlad, he was too depressed to mad.

"Yeah. That conversation in the morning didn't sit right with me. You're not yourself Uncle and its been bugging the crap out of me."

Otis sat up straight, as if Vlad was face to face with him, "What do you want me to do, Vladimir?" His voice was stern, but it held a hint of sadness. Sadness that struck Otis in the heart, like a slayer striking a stake through his heart.

"I want you to be straight with me. I know it's crap, but you always tell me how much you care for me. 'Forever and a day'. That's what you told me. Why is it that I can't do the same?"

Otis stood and paced around the kitchen, talking with the hands, or in this case, thinking with his hands, "Look Vladimir, I just think that you shouldn't get involved."

"And why not?" Vlad's voice sounded angry, and Otis knew he had every right to be angry.

"Because," Otis sighed, he was getting angry and he didn't even know why. All he knew was that he just needed to calm down before he says something that he would regret, "Vladimir, it's just," another sigh, "It's just that I hate to lump all my problems on you."

"Look Uncle, you would always wave me off, you never wanted to talk about what was bugging you or you never wanted an apology when I asked about something. Or you would just give some vague answer. But not anymore. Please not anymore," Vlad sighed, "You're hurting. You do a good job hiding it at work, at council meetings, but I'm your nephew, and you can't hide anything from me anymore. Please Uncle." Vlad sounded desperate.

Otis sighed and then stayed quiet; not sure on what to say. Otis took his seat back at the table and went back to staring into his now cold bloodwine. He let out a shaky breath. Great, just what he needed; more tears. Another break down for the great Otis. When he spoke, his voice was small, "I'm scared Vladimir." That same weak feeling was coming back; Otis hated this.

Vlad was quiet for a moment; taking in his uncle's confession. Then, he spoke, his voice soft and caring, "Why?"

Otis thought for a while, wanting to get the words just right, "I'm scared. Scared of this depression. Of this fucking loneliness that just keeps getting worse and worse."

"You know, you're not alone right? I'm here. And I know what I'm saying probably doesn't help. I know you'll still feel lonely, but you know I'm always a thought away."

A small smile graced Otis's lips, "I know Vladimir… I know," the smile grew, "So, how are your classes going? I hope you're passing your classes. I can't have you slacking off, Vladimir." Otis's voice took that familiar teacher tone Vlad knew all too well.

Vlad rolled his eyes and laughed a bit, "Yes Uncle Otis, I'm passing my classes. Since I don't have school tomorrow, what do you say I pay you a visit?"

"You may not have school, but I still have a school to run, Vladimir."

"Aw come on, I can go terrorize the students. Maybe you can assign them a project. You know, a project of them explaining what it's like to be, I don't know, a mythical creature?" Vlad's voice sounded happier. Otis was glad to hear that. At least he was able to smile, even for a little while.

"I'll tell you what, you can come visit, just no terrorizing my students, that's my job."

"What about that assignment?"

Otis chuckled, "I'll think about it."

"Hey Uncle?" Vlad's voice grew a little serious.

"Hm?"

"You know that if you need to, you can always talk to me, right?"

Otis smiled, "I know, Vladimir."

"And I'll be here for you. You know that right?"

"Of course," Otis stood, and walked back upstairs, "Forever and a day, Vladimir," Otis laid back into bed, wanting to get some sleep this time, "Now good night, Vladimir."

"Good night, Uncle."


End file.
